Behind The Mask
by BennettGirl
Summary: A small drabble into the mind of a Miss Mary Bennett, she is always seen as bitter but how does she really feel? Hope you enjoy it!
1. I am Unbreakable

Mary Bennett stood stiffly by her younger sisters at the front of the church, trying in vain to swallow the lump in the back of her throat. Eyes slightly glazed she cursed at her inability to stay true to herself. A few months back ,Mary had vowed to herself that she would not fall prey to any man, in her opinion they were inferior creatures, beings who appreciated looks but nothing more. They were undeserving of Mary, they could not have her.

But they did not want her.

But that was fine, she could accept that she had to. Mary rose above it, she was not special and so people did not find her worthy. She became cold, hard and distant. She did not the possess the sparkling eyes or the glossy hair that her sisters did, she may have been unremarkable with her straight nose, strong cheekbones and pale pallor but she was not ugly. She would never be a beauty but could easily become pleasing to the eye if she possessed the essence of life like her sisters so easily did. However she didn't, she withdrew, pinched and sour-faced acting like a petulant child when she didn't get her way. It was an act of course but not even her family could see that, not that they had tried to.

That's what bothered Mary the most

She knew she was plain, her features did not include the desired soft, round face or rosy skin tone for the time period. Straight, strong features that matched her apparent inability to feel genuine carefree emotion.

But she could feel, she just didn't want to show weakness. Mary was used to being the secondary character to her sisters, she was content to play the role. Jane had beauty, Elizabeth wit, Kitty frivolous and Lydia was delightfully devious. The Bennett sisters were renowned throughout the county for their enticing ways men became entranced and Mrs Bennett set her impossible husband near crazy with her schemes for marriage. Mary was relieved to be the one left out, she whole-heartedly believed that love was a myth created for the lonely woman of this world. Not her she was fine on her own.

But then she met him.


	2. It's a Love Story

She met him at the Netherfield ball and noticed him immediately. Not that Mary would ever admit this but she strongly admired his dark, good looks.

Stern dark eyes rarely ignited with amusement, but when they did Mary felt as if she had one some sort of award. She greatly enjoyed making him smirk and smile even if it was occasionally at her own expense, seeing his face light up was enough for her. She did not want for much.

From her spot in the corner she analysed his strong jaw and smooth curls. His stiff posture never betrayed any weakness, Mary Bennett could relate to this as she was the one who never showed any emotion other than petulance. The whiny, inadequate child was a position she was thrown into and she played it well, she'd had a lot of practice.

Intelligence was he forte as she had no social skills, being plain would not have bothered her as much, she was sure, if her mother had not been fixated on this particular aspect in all of her children. Mrs Bennett was so obviously disappointed in Mary that it pained her.

In modern times her looks would be considered beautiful with her slender curves, high cheekbones and jade green eyes. She would have been individual, delightfully knowledgeable. Mary Bennett was born before her time with even her creator having little patience for her as is evidenced by Jane Austen's dismissal.

She was not part of Lizzie+Jane nor Kitty+Lydia and she loved to pity herself.

But maybe, just maybe this man could empathise with her sorrow. He seemed to be eccentric and stubborn, a kindred spirit. Mary did not approach him that night at the Netherfield Ball though in some ways she wished she had. Instead she just watched and swore that she would be courageous and reach out if she had the good fortune to see him again.

For once in Mary's life luck was one her side, they did meet again. Mary pushed him into a lengthy debate about etiquette. When night fell he practically leapt out his seat to run away from this supposedly full and morbid woman, never noticing the tears glistening in her eyes as she watched him leave.

Mary was angry once again, this was the first time she had placed any real effort into reaching out and how did he repay her? By making it obvious that he would rather be ANYWHERE else. The nerve!

However the interaction had not gone as subtly as Mary had hoped and her mother continually berated her for not leaving this perfect opportunity of a suitor to her 'better siblings'.

'After all, No one was likely to want her hand in marriage'

That was the second time that night that Mary almost cried.

The next few times the interacted at different social gatherings were in passing. His bored greetings soon vanished at her curt acknowledgements. Soon his eyebrows were raised and his eyes actually sparked when Mary replied almost rudely.

Nose up, cheeks flushed with indignation she became quite attractive when angry and this particular gentlemen had never encountered a lady with a manner like this. He was not used to being ignored and this time was the one to strike up a debate, actually listening this time. Her shocking opinions had him speechless with rage; his initial opinion was how a mere woman DARE have such views.

Well, this soon changed and now he was enticed to learn more about Mary's opinions.

His visits became a frequents occurrence to the Longbourn house-hold and Mary silently congratulated him on his ability to share time between a few sisters, so as not to arouse suspicion Mrs Bennett was adamant that he was beguiled by one of her favourites, but she was wrong.

However one thing could be certain, a Bennett girl had taken his fancy. His friendship was welcomed by Mary although her heart yearned for more. She just could not let someone so quick- witted, stubborn and so very similar to her slip through her fingers.

A woman will do what she must to entice a man; Mary although many would disagree was no different to these women.

Grey gowns were replaced with fitted bodices and velvet gowns that show cased her high, firm breasts and womanly curves. Never too fancy, just deep blues and purples that enhanced her alabaster skin giving it a pearl like quality. For once, Mary didn't look sickly.

Her hair was braided at night and rubbed tirelessly with silk, then braided into fashionable clothes that had a sinfully chocolate-like gleam to them.

She still may not have been considered beautiful but she was no longer lagging behind her sisters like before. Her striking eyes and heavenly figure drew many eyes of colonels and lords alike. Mary no longer sat and watched as her sisters were pursued by men in red. In fact, she was second only to Jane in the number of men that asked her to dance, but maybe that was because she was viewed as new. A shiny toy to play with until another young lady grows into herself.

Many a woman would love this new found attention and dance with different partners until their hearts content, many more would use these suitors to make their hearts desire jealous, but not Mary. She liked to believe she was above petty things yet in truth she wanted no one but her man and she prayed that her plan was working.

She refused dance after dance and once again was viewed as a spinster however not she was attractive. Her families view of her never changed and when she made an effort in her appearance they assumed she was trying to compete with Jane. Her mother told her she may as well not bother.

But she did not care, she just wanted him to feel half as much love-yes it was love- as she felt for him.

She had good reason to hope.

The visits were becoming almost daily and when he glanced at her, Mary was pleased to see they lingered with real affection in his eyes. They lingered on her sisters as well but Mary was used to this, she paid it no mind.

Their conversations were becoming more and more personal and Mary would never forget the one question he asked which had her heart in her mouth.

"Mary, what is your view on marriage?"

That single question had her heart beating faster than it had ever beaten and her hands sweating in a most un-lady like manner. She answered in a typical fashion, that she thought marrying for love was the best thing two people could do together, better even than raising a child. He answered that he felt the time was right and that he would propose very soon, when he was brave enough.

Mary urged him to do it soon for

"I am sure that whoever you ask will be only to pleased."

He had to go away then, to his home and his parting words were

"until next time Miss Bennett" this said with a gleam in his eye that could only be described as love.

Mary almost swooned. She only just scolded herself for mentally picturing her wedding dress, although nothing could wipe the smile of her face. She had never looked more alive and the essence of life that her sisters possessed was now finally in Mary, that week her admirers double but Mary paid them no mind.

She counted down the days until his return.

She missed him dreadfully and her melancholy manner spread through the house-hold. He was not the only absentee in that period of time, in fact Mary and Kitty were the only daughters left behind. Although it was shameful Mary barely thought about her sisters, dwelling instead on how he would propose. She loved every aspect of him although he was widely considered a difficult man. To Mart, it just added to the charm and hoped and prayed that he would return to her safe and that no harlot attached herself to him. Although she needn't have worried she knew that when he talked of marriage his heart belonged to one and one only.

In the end it was all very romantic, two weeks after his farewell at about mid-morning the sound of galloping hooves could be clearly heard. Mary paused in her sewing as did Elizabeth and they dashed to the window. There he swung himself off his stallion and glanced around wildly looking almost deranged. _Deranged with love _Mary prayed. As he leaped up the front steps Mary's mother evidently spotted him from her window and shrieked for her children to make themselves presentable. Servants bustled to the door and Mary knew in that instant that she would never forget this moment; she could hear him coming down the corridor and straightened her back while plastering a smile that felt surprisingly natural on her face. Well aware that Elizabeth was doing the same.

He appeared behind the door dutifully following the maid and bowed low. Smiling at both Miss Bennetts Mary shone back at him and saw his eyes lingering on her and only her. They were filled with affection and his smile only widened as Mary forgot to breathe. A clearing of the throat from Mrs Bennett brought him back down to earth and he turned and bowed once again. After tedious greetings were exchanged he enquired if he may speak to Mr Bennett as he has 'an important question to ask'.

Mrs Bennett just about fainted but managed to collect herself enough to instruct the maid to take him to Mr Bennetts' study. Mary had to consciously stop herself from jumping into his arms before he left; he glanced at her one last time and then was gone from view.

Her father-for once- was nothing but understanding although Mary knew he could not say to know to a man as wealthy as Mary's love. Mary Bennett was a spinster no more and she smiled in satisfaction as two beaming men left Mr Bennetts' study, approaching the woman in the living room.

Mary's eyes unglazed as she brought herself back to the present, at the front of the church. She had met the man of her dreams with his cold, hard exterior that protected his warm heart. Kindred spirits is what they were.

Mary searched his eyes as he said his vows with so much passion and love. She held her breath as he used his gently calloused hands to slowly slide the ring onto…her sister's finger.

Choking back tears she wished with all her heart that he could love her more than a sister. But no, life was cruel to Mary, she was over-looked. Deemed to be a spinster by Jane Austen and that's how she would stay. But for once, just once she wished that she could have gotten the man.

O how she wished she could be Mrs Fitzwilliam Darcy.


End file.
